strange venues to wake up in.... LOL

Here I go again.... waking up in strange, and at times, dangerous venues... LOL. Good freaking thing I'm not into sleep walking. I could just see myself waking up as a giant wave folds over my head or something, hehe. Ya, I live waaaaayyyy too close to the ocean!! Or... worse yet... I could find myself taking a giant step for all women.... off the freaking bridge, LOL. Now that would be one hell of a step. Who knows... I could land on the deck of an LNG tanker going by underneath, LOL. Now wouldn't that scare the living crap out of the crew, hehe.
But alas no, my sleeping mind is not that creative. Actually... thank the Gods it's not that creative. Otherwise I might find myself in a precarious situation, or worse.... DEAD! There's something to say for boring, hehe.

No... instead I found myself... or should I say my poor mother found me spread out across my work bench, with my head and arms splayed across all of my beads (minus any toothpicks thank you, LOL) dead to the entire world. This is not a "NORMAL" sleep that I find myself in, but such a deep sleep that I'm completely unaware of any uncomfortableness going on (i.e., a face full of toothpicks). I have NO recollection of pain whatsoever!!

But..... this was not the STRANGEST place I ended up last night..... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

After my mother roused me from my workbench and aimed me toward my bed she went off to use the bathroom. That of course got me thinking that my bladder could use to be emptied as well. You know, that's usually what happens when you first wake up.... head for the loo. So, once she was finished that's where I went. Unfortunetly, she didn't see me and just trotted off to her own bed. That was at 7AM!!

Of course she did come back and check on me a bit later..... at 11:30AM and guess what?????? I WAS STILL SITTING ON THE THRONE!!!! Yup.... I had passed out on the toilet and was there for a full four and a half hours!! Now, it was great that I got that much sleep. Again, thank the Gods that I didn't FALL OFF of the throne, LOL. Nope, I just sat there, head on chest, sound asleep.

Of course I kept having this really strange dream where I'd see my glasses on the floor, pick them up and put them back on. A little later in the dream I 'd see my glasses on the floor, pick them up and put them on. This "dream" continued over and over again. What I realized upon waking was that it wasn't a dream at all. I guess my glasses kept falling off my face, I'd wake up and put them back on, LOL. I did this for four and a half hours but never really WOKE UP!
That was this morning. This evening my mother insisted that I get into bed as I fell asleep while trying to eat. Dropped my fork right out of my hand onto the plate, with quite a clatter I might add. I meandered into my room and "sat up" in bed while looking through the TV stations. She came in to check on me and found my lower body still "sitting up" while my upper body had twisted and fell over. Once she woke me up I was in considerable pain from muscle spasms in my back from being so twisted. This has sooooooo got to stop.

My mother doesn't have normal conversations with me any longer, hehe. Our diatribe consists of "Star??? (insert "real" name here by the way :) I answer "ya" and she responds with "are you awake???? Of course just by the shear fact that I answer her in the first place should make it unnecessary for her to complete the sentence with "are you awake" but I guess she feels it would be impolite, LOL. Her hearts in the right place and that's what really counts.

I suppose I need to speak to the doc about this. Only problem is, I don't know WHICH DOC to talk to, LOL. I suppose I should start with my Primary, although he/she (reg. doc & nurse practitioner) haven't been all that responsive lately. I think I've surpassed their general knowledge for what a "general" patient should be dealing with.

I guess I could talk to my Pain Specialist, Dr. Ross. Now here's a doc that calls back ALL THE TIME. It may take him a day or two depending on his schedule but I've never had to call back and request to speak with him a second time. He ALWAYS returns my calls. I'm not sure though that this particular problem is within his realm of medical expertise.

I did call the specialist who may/may not (depending on what he sees in my records) become my newest doc . Unfortunetly, he doesn't know me from a whole in the wall to start and second, this really isn't his line of expertise. He handles gastrointestinal issues including auto immune diseases that effect the liver

And my Rheumatologist definetly wouldn't know what to do with this weird sleeping thing. Soooo, I guess I'm back to the Primary. I'll guarantee I won't get a definitive answer from either one of that team. Like I said before, I think I've surpassed their level of expertise. Kind of scary if you ask me.

Maybe I'll type up a "general" type letter, indicating all the strange venues I've woken up in and send them to ALL of my doctors. Depending on who answers what, I'll have a better idea of who can help me. Or better yet, I'll have an idea of who WANTS to help me, LOL. I'll have to try that one, hehe!!

Sooooo..... until I find out what the hell is going on and why I keep having these episodes about every three weeks or so, I think I'll just have my mother cover me in bubble wrap!! That way, no matter where I fall alseep I won't be too prone to hurting myself. Although, if it's another toothpick insident I just might end up puncturing all of the bubble wrap. Hopefully the POPPING sounds will wake me this time, LOL!! Naaawww... I'll probably just think it's another one of my weird dreams, hehe....

till the next time.........................

p.s. Maybe I should start a contest to see who out there in Blogger Land can pick what venue I'll wake up in next. The more creative, the better.... LOL!!! Now what kind of prize could I award for that one????